"-and so I asked the Fashionista whether she could turn water into wine. 'I can do better than that,' she said, and turned every single one of my shirts into woolly sweaters. ... Blimey, that was a bit weird. And itchy."
- The Fashion Constitution, Page 72-and-a-half
Trend is an ancient fashion-based art and way of life. It was originally developed by a pair of Tibetan monks and has eventually become a worldwide sensation.
Beliefs and Worship Edit
The underlying belief of Trend is the existence of the Fashion God, an ancient being composed entirely of fashionable clothing. His daughter is known as the Fashionista.
As read in the Fashion Constitution, page 104:
And I looked into the Sky and saw the Fashion God staring down upon me. My god was made of silk and satin dresses, held together with a ribcage of leather jeans and other fashionable items of clothing.
And the Fashion God looked down upon me with his green eyes, both contained inside two enormous bra-cups, and he pulled a funny face. And then he disappeared, and I suddenly found myself to be wearing a sweater...
The Fashion God was proposed to be the ultimate in Trendiness. It was the goal of "Trendists" to achieve their maximum Trendiness and, in consequence, a form of inner peace.
See Timeline of Trend.
Trend began in approximately 300 A.D when two bored Tibetan monks created the religion as a very funny joke. It is unknown how, but it soon became an actual religion in Atlantis, in mid-600 A.D, where it remained as one of two dominant religions, the other being Scientology. In mid-800 A.D, a holy war between the two religions resulted, ultimately leading to the destruction of Atlantis. The remaining Atlanteans spread across the globe in exile, spreading Trend in the West and the Middle East.
By the 1900s, however, Trend had evolved into a fashion format, removed of its religiousness. In 1933, the religion of Trend made a resurgence with the discovery of the Fashion Constitution, the holy book of Trend.
Numerous types of Trend exist.
- Alpha Trend - the second most prominent form of Trend. To achieve maximum Trendiness, an Alpha Trendist must clothe themselves in the latest fashions.
- Atlantis Major - The Gods of Atlantis are worshipped alongside the Fashion God. It is required to wear Atlantean styles every second Thursday and fourth Monday.
- Atheist Fashion - the most prominent form of Trend. As the conventional meaning of Trend, 90% of its members are teenagers trying to look good, with the remaining 10% being models. Atheist Fashion has been purged of its religiousness, which annoys Alpha Trendists a lot.
Trend uses the sweater system to define rank, with the Dull White Acrylic Sweater at the bottom (for n00bs) and the Glitzy Gold Woolly Sweater at the top (reserved for the Ultimate Masters of Trend).
A special honour is to receive the silver bandanna. This is very much the Trend version of being knighted; those who do receive the silver bandanna are known as "Trend Lords" and wear their special bandanna on special occasions.
Known as Anti-Trend or occasionally The Illuminati, the Anti-Trendists hold a long grudge toward... well, Trend. In their war against fashion, they seek to wear clothing hilariously out of date, any type of clothing that was never in-date at all, or sometimes just no clothing. (The latter, in our civilised times, is not frequently accepted.)